Dimming Your Light to Make Others Comfortable

Have you dimmed your light?

What caused you to do so?

A person, relationship, a job, your circumstances?⠀

Earlier this week, I noticed how much I stopped being me. How much I stopped laughing and joking.⠀

I blamed it on life but it was a number of conscious choices I had made over and over. ⠀

I thought I had to be a certain way to be accepted and loved.⠀

And then I thought I had to follow the path well-traveled to be successful.⠀

And of course, I want to be a good mom but I chose to let that responsibility mean I couldn’t do things a certain way (i.e. behave, dress, be). ⠀

Fast forward to now and I have realized how all of those little choices dimmed my light. ⠀

I was talking to my best friend, and we talked about how much fun we always had. How loud we laughed. How much we didn’t really care what others thought.

We were mainly focused on having fun. Going to concerts, parties, shopping days and any other nonsense we could get up.

I guess that sounds like late teen / early twenties experience for many.

But it was more than that. We were carefree.

We did have our fair share of boyfriend drama, that is for sure. So there was definitely heartbreak but our commitment to fun was a priority.

Reflection of the Present Moment

And as we reflect on the past ten years or so, we realize how much we changed.

We both settled down, had babies, bought houses. Our paths took us to different towns.

Maybe it is a natural part of getting older.

But one conclusion we both came to is that we stopped laughing. We stopped being loud and taking up space.

We dimmed our lights.

For many different reasons. Relationships, jobs, placing too much emphasis on what others thought.

And it isn’t about going back to being those people because we have grown and evolved but it’s about shining brighter in the present moment.

Now we have life experience under our belt. We are mothers who want our own children to live out loud. Be authentically themselves. And not feel as though they need to dim their light for anyone.

We want to laugh.⠀

Live more fully.⠀

Be in the present moment.⠀

Love yourself enough that it doesn’t matter whether others do. Of course we want to be accepted and fit in, but there is a cost to that comfort – one that I am no longer willing to pay.

Take up space in the world. Not space that we worked for but the space that we and every single person deserves.

And remind ourselves of whats truly important which is staying true to who we are.

And in the process, maybe we will give others permission to do the same.

What have you allowed to dim your light?

What will you do to take back your power?⠀