It’s day 8 of self-isolation. After a week of being on a roller coaster of emotions, I decided to surrender to what is.
Oddly enough, when I chose my power word this year, I chose surrender, yet I spent a full week in resistance.
There had been fleeting moments last week where I was at peace and optimistic about what was happening. I could see the opportunities being offered to us to unplug and reconnect to our family.
But there were many more moments of fear, panic, anxiety, and sadness.
I wanted life to be normal again.
The Roller Coaster of Emotions
I found myself breaking down crying a few times.
And many moments of total fear of how I would financially stay afloat the next couple of months.
I scrolled social media and watched live news casts for hours on end to try to gain some kind of understanding of when this would be over. I would feel frustrated and angry as I saw posts about people not practicing social distancing or going out and doing their thing.
I talked to friends about how I missed our coffee dates.
And I longed for the days I could just go out shopping for the sake of shopping.
But by day 7, I couldn’t continue down this path.
The Moment of Surrender
I did what I always do when I need answers. I went for a run and asked what I need to get through the next few months And the answer was to surrender to what is.
I took a deep breath. Probably the first one in a week. I fully accepted what is.
Self-isolating and COVID19 is uncharted territory. This is affecting us on a global level. Our health care system, economy, jobs, security, and most importantly, our lives are being threatened.
And there is no quick fix for this.
We all have to do our part and self-isolate and physically distance ourselves for the foreseeable future.
And that sucks. But that is the only way for us to get through this. It is the only way for us to help flatten the curve and protect the at-risk population.
I’m totally willing to do what I have to do. But that doesn’t make it easy.
I can’t change any of that though.
I have to look within and change my own response. And it starts with surrendering to what is.
It means I accept this situation just as it is. THIS is our new reality for the time being. I will remind myself to stay in the present moment and to only deal with what is directly in front of me.
I can’t think about what will happen in a week, a month, even a year from now.
I am consciously choosing to have faith that everything will be okay, because it will be.
We are already adjusting to this new way of life.
I can even name some of the things I don’t even mind – staying in pjs most of the day, sleeping in because I have nowhere to be, getting a lot of time to do my personal development, reading, spending time with the family.
When Resistance Creeps Up
And when the feelings of fear come up, I will take a deep breath and ground myself back into the present moment. I will scan all of my senses to bring me back into my body.
If you have spent the past week in resistance, I invite you to surrender.
I would love if you comment below any questions or thoughts on the art of surrender.